Friday 24th July
Thanks to those who reacted to my last entry. I guess my sad little note worried some of you. Well yeah.....worry away...oh and send money, that'll help.
Work was frustrating today as my computer crashed big time so the conspiracy theory remained dominant. However here's the good news. Step one of the plan has been completed. Got in the pool at about 5.30pm and started with 1000 meters with paddles. Fiddled about a lot and felt very anxious. 'My eye's clouding up oh no....no its ok it's the goggles...it's ok, ok ok. Pulled my goggles so tight I gave myself brain freeze. Just relax a little at a time...it's ok, it's ok. Followed first 1000 with 10 x 400 Individual Medley......no prob and hey what's that? Oh nothing, it's just that I completely forgot about my eye...is that a little sting?...maybe.
Completed 5000 meters in 500 front crawl and almost felt like I was getting stronger and stronger. Arms a little achy towards the last 1000 but felt really good and relaxed for the second half. No problem with the eye at all. A little itchy maybe but settled with no blurred vision and no pain.
So all a bit more chilled tonight and ready for a sea swim on Sunday.
Friday, 24 July 2009
Thursday, 23 July 2009
Giving Up
July 23rd 2009
Well they say that if the rehearsal is bad then it goes alright on the night. Well this rehearsal is appalling so the show should be fantastic.....if there is a show.
I was having such a great time as you know and then last Wednesday Harry and I had a short swim at Wig Bay. Something seemed to be blurring my vision so I poked and prodded my eye and when I got out I had very blurry vision in my left eye. By the time I got home it was agony and I ended up in A and E. Got some cream and the examination showed an unhappy eye but nothing much. Yes I could still go swimming just go easy and keep the goggles on and don't poke it! Next day the eye was fine!
The following evening Harry and I were set for a long swim with the Kayak. After 30 minutes my eye clouded over and we stopped the swim. A couple of hours later I was in A and E screaming in agony. All I could do the next day was lie in the dark. Thank god for radio 4.
Saw the specialist on Tuesday and I have a scratch on my eye and no wonder it was painful and it probably got infected. All healing now and anti biotic cream for a month and no he can't guarantee it won't happen again........
I know people...THIS IS NOT GOOD!
My morale is rock bottom and I feel like giving up. My eye is fine now and feels good today....but what if ...what if? Technical arrangements for the big day are much more tricky than we thought and the weather is terrible. It has been so windy we wouldn't have been able to go to Ailsa Craig for a practice anyway. Sunday looks just as bad. So here's the plan
Friday 5000 meter swim in the pool
Sat Rowing or running
Sun Ailsa Craig weather permitting or a local swim
Aug 9th Loch Rannoch race 9.5 miles
I'm not at all happy or confident about any of this. I have lost my good eating habits and have hit the chocolate big time. I hate the way I am making a bad situation worse but Harry says lots of chocolate makes you float!!!!!!
Well they say that if the rehearsal is bad then it goes alright on the night. Well this rehearsal is appalling so the show should be fantastic.....if there is a show.
I was having such a great time as you know and then last Wednesday Harry and I had a short swim at Wig Bay. Something seemed to be blurring my vision so I poked and prodded my eye and when I got out I had very blurry vision in my left eye. By the time I got home it was agony and I ended up in A and E. Got some cream and the examination showed an unhappy eye but nothing much. Yes I could still go swimming just go easy and keep the goggles on and don't poke it! Next day the eye was fine!
The following evening Harry and I were set for a long swim with the Kayak. After 30 minutes my eye clouded over and we stopped the swim. A couple of hours later I was in A and E screaming in agony. All I could do the next day was lie in the dark. Thank god for radio 4.
Saw the specialist on Tuesday and I have a scratch on my eye and no wonder it was painful and it probably got infected. All healing now and anti biotic cream for a month and no he can't guarantee it won't happen again........
I know people...THIS IS NOT GOOD!
My morale is rock bottom and I feel like giving up. My eye is fine now and feels good today....but what if ...what if? Technical arrangements for the big day are much more tricky than we thought and the weather is terrible. It has been so windy we wouldn't have been able to go to Ailsa Craig for a practice anyway. Sunday looks just as bad. So here's the plan
Friday 5000 meter swim in the pool
Sat Rowing or running
Sun Ailsa Craig weather permitting or a local swim
Aug 9th Loch Rannoch race 9.5 miles
I'm not at all happy or confident about any of this. I have lost my good eating habits and have hit the chocolate big time. I hate the way I am making a bad situation worse but Harry says lots of chocolate makes you float!!!!!!
Sunday, 12 July 2009
The Diva
Back on track...All aboard The Diva with Mike the Skipper
July 12th
This week has been much better as I go from strength to strength. I have been in the pool although not with the Stingrays and work is full on including a day trip to Belfast. I am full of happy memories as we did some hob nobbing at the Queens garden party and then we saw the Eagles in Glasgow which was just awesome! We were 5 rows from the front and I still don't know how I managed that. If you ever need good seats just ask me and I'll do it without trying! I looked into the eyes of Joe Walsh and Don Henley and I think this has enhanced my week and probably my year hugely!!!
So now I am swimming again in the sea and the tune I have in my head is Waiting in the Weeds by the Eagles from The Long Road Out of Eden. There's plenty of seaweed and green algae which is not toxic to us but is devastating for shell fish. Luckily it is also deterring the jelly fish so far. I am up to 400 meters and on Friday night we finally boarded the Diva which is now the boat for the main event! She's a beauty and quite fast so she wasn't at my shoulder but ahead all the time. It was like a computer game, she would hover and then as I approached she would take off again. The verdict though is positive and we will have a kayak in the water as well on the day. Logistics are tricky but we are squaring up details each day now.
Today Harry and I went out in the loch and I truly found my pace again. Swam about 3.5 miles.
Plans for this week are to swim Monday with the Stingrays, Wednesday hopefully with the Diva and Friday with Harry. Sunday we are going back to Ailsa Craig on the Diva.
Loads of pressure now as the fundraising reaches its peak and time is running out.
Monday, 6 July 2009
Ailsa Craig at last
Monday 6th July
Got back to work part time and then managed a full week last week. The bad news is that I now have an infection and I'm still feeling a bit low. Swam 300o meters last Wednesday and felt OK but very tired afterwards. Have done some rowing and two runs to Ladybay and although I have had no ill affects it's all a bit slow ya know!
Oh right....Ailsa Craig. Yes we got there courtesy of the boat The Glorious with skipper Mark. No swimming due to slow recovery but we climbed up. We only had 2 hrs on the rock all together so it was a struggle. Very very steep with undefined paths and loose stones underfoot. Not for the feint hearted actually but I loved it. Harry got to the top, Carrie made it almost half way and I could see the top and was tantilisingly close but knew my limit. She is very beautiful and we saw puffins, seals loadsa birds and even 2 dolphins! I would recommend the trip, it's well worth the money....£25 each.
The plan this week is to swim Wednesday at the pool, Friday open water and Sunday open water.
Got back to work part time and then managed a full week last week. The bad news is that I now have an infection and I'm still feeling a bit low. Swam 300o meters last Wednesday and felt OK but very tired afterwards. Have done some rowing and two runs to Ladybay and although I have had no ill affects it's all a bit slow ya know!
Oh right....Ailsa Craig. Yes we got there courtesy of the boat The Glorious with skipper Mark. No swimming due to slow recovery but we climbed up. We only had 2 hrs on the rock all together so it was a struggle. Very very steep with undefined paths and loose stones underfoot. Not for the feint hearted actually but I loved it. Harry got to the top, Carrie made it almost half way and I could see the top and was tantilisingly close but knew my limit. She is very beautiful and we saw puffins, seals loadsa birds and even 2 dolphins! I would recommend the trip, it's well worth the money....£25 each.
The plan this week is to swim Wednesday at the pool, Friday open water and Sunday open water.
Friday, 26 June 2009
A bit Pear Shaped
The thing about being unwell is how wonderful it is when you feel better, which I finally am. It also makes me realise how lucky I am to have my health and to have the privilege to swim and gad about the way I do.
The title of this entry is not a description of my shape!!! It's actually a description of my encounter with a surgeon last Monday. Someone thought I said an encounter with a sturgeon and that I had been attacked by a fish, but no unfortunately this was not the case. I think caviar is so overrated. So here's what happened...
Diary of a middle aged patient
Monday 15th June
08.45am
Got to Day Surgery in Dumfries. My friend Jane and I were so tired as we left home at 6am. 'No anaesthetic required' I quipped. All good news, I was second on the list and I had visions of eating toast and heading home by lunch time. I know how this works.......
9am
Nervous looking registrar suggests that the surgery may be more complicated than they initially thought so I would be moved to the end of the morning list. 'Don't send me home!' I quipped
10.30am
Was given strong painkillers as a pre med. 'Is this a clue to how bad it could be?' I quipped
11am
Reassured by anaesthetist that they knew my heart was a bit weird and that my pulse and BP could be low. 'Try not to kill me' I quipped
1pm
Surgeon tells me they have had second thoughts about surgery today due to possible complications. I pleaded with dignity like this....'Please please please please please don't send me home Dr....you have no idea etc etc etc etc etc. ' Then comes a speech from me about how surgeons need to understand that people who come for day surgery have to set up all kinds of things to get there like care for dependants, time off work, friends to bring us....yeah you get the picture. He heard about the swim last. Anyway anyway anyway, we came to an agreement that they would proceed and if it turned out to be complicated they would call me back another day. Then he told me I had missed my place on the list and he would have to plead with theatre staff to fit me in. He went away to negotiate. I waited in my hospital gown and dressing gown and crocs feeling like I was waiting for the car salesman to return after negotiating the price of the car with the boss.
He came back shook my hand and said the deal had been sealed. Before I had time to work out that maybe fitting me in wasn't perhaps the best idea for the morale of the the staff who would be in charge of my unconscious body, I was on the anaesthetic table. Wait a minute....the shift has changed and it's a different anaesthetist....'You do know about my heart' I managed to gulp while the oxygen mask was heading my way. 'Thank you so ....much.....for ........fitting.....me...in zzzzzzz z z z '
3pm
In recovery sleepy...ouch ouch ouch...more painkillers...more more
5pm
BP 87 /40
PULSE 28
Feel TERRIBLE!
5.30pm
Intensive Cardiac Unit Dr leans over me....'Did you tell anyone about your heart and low BP and Pulse?'
Me 'I don't think I told that lady over there or the cleaner, but I told everyone else'
Result
Procedure was fine and was tricky but not as complicated as the surgeon feared so all was well
I was admitted and monitored overnight.
Got home Tuesday lunchtime
Tuesday pm Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
No idea.....wafted about like a ghost. Read a little, mostly brain dead
Saturday
Thought RIGHT this is enough...got up and dressed and went to Portpatrick for lunch with EB and gang
Saturday pm
wafted about like a ghost
Anyway anyway anyway I finally got back to work for a half day yesterday (Thursday) and today looked a little less like a ghost. No swimming.
PLAN
Ailsa Craig attempt 2 is on Sunday. I know I know I know but the boat has been booked for weeks so we're going. Harry has been keeping in touch and says he's not worried, and I musn't take risks. Hopefully I'll be in the water and then business as usual next week. We think that just to be at the Craig will give me a psychological boost, so we may just climb up it.
Did I tell you we did win a National Care Accolade at work?.....maybe I dreamt it in a drug induced haze.....
The title of this entry is not a description of my shape!!! It's actually a description of my encounter with a surgeon last Monday. Someone thought I said an encounter with a sturgeon and that I had been attacked by a fish, but no unfortunately this was not the case. I think caviar is so overrated. So here's what happened...
Diary of a middle aged patient
Monday 15th June
08.45am
Got to Day Surgery in Dumfries. My friend Jane and I were so tired as we left home at 6am. 'No anaesthetic required' I quipped. All good news, I was second on the list and I had visions of eating toast and heading home by lunch time. I know how this works.......
9am
Nervous looking registrar suggests that the surgery may be more complicated than they initially thought so I would be moved to the end of the morning list. 'Don't send me home!' I quipped
10.30am
Was given strong painkillers as a pre med. 'Is this a clue to how bad it could be?' I quipped
11am
Reassured by anaesthetist that they knew my heart was a bit weird and that my pulse and BP could be low. 'Try not to kill me' I quipped
1pm
Surgeon tells me they have had second thoughts about surgery today due to possible complications. I pleaded with dignity like this....'Please please please please please don't send me home Dr....you have no idea etc etc etc etc etc. ' Then comes a speech from me about how surgeons need to understand that people who come for day surgery have to set up all kinds of things to get there like care for dependants, time off work, friends to bring us....yeah you get the picture. He heard about the swim last. Anyway anyway anyway, we came to an agreement that they would proceed and if it turned out to be complicated they would call me back another day. Then he told me I had missed my place on the list and he would have to plead with theatre staff to fit me in. He went away to negotiate. I waited in my hospital gown and dressing gown and crocs feeling like I was waiting for the car salesman to return after negotiating the price of the car with the boss.
He came back shook my hand and said the deal had been sealed. Before I had time to work out that maybe fitting me in wasn't perhaps the best idea for the morale of the the staff who would be in charge of my unconscious body, I was on the anaesthetic table. Wait a minute....the shift has changed and it's a different anaesthetist....'You do know about my heart' I managed to gulp while the oxygen mask was heading my way. 'Thank you so ....much.....for ........fitting.....me...in zzzzzzz z z z '
3pm
In recovery sleepy...ouch ouch ouch...more painkillers...more more
5pm
BP 87 /40
PULSE 28
Feel TERRIBLE!
5.30pm
Intensive Cardiac Unit Dr leans over me....'Did you tell anyone about your heart and low BP and Pulse?'
Me 'I don't think I told that lady over there or the cleaner, but I told everyone else'
Result
Procedure was fine and was tricky but not as complicated as the surgeon feared so all was well
I was admitted and monitored overnight.
Got home Tuesday lunchtime
Tuesday pm Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
No idea.....wafted about like a ghost. Read a little, mostly brain dead
Saturday
Thought RIGHT this is enough...got up and dressed and went to Portpatrick for lunch with EB and gang
Saturday pm
wafted about like a ghost
Anyway anyway anyway I finally got back to work for a half day yesterday (Thursday) and today looked a little less like a ghost. No swimming.
PLAN
Ailsa Craig attempt 2 is on Sunday. I know I know I know but the boat has been booked for weeks so we're going. Harry has been keeping in touch and says he's not worried, and I musn't take risks. Hopefully I'll be in the water and then business as usual next week. We think that just to be at the Craig will give me a psychological boost, so we may just climb up it.
Did I tell you we did win a National Care Accolade at work?.....maybe I dreamt it in a drug induced haze.....
Sunday, 14 June 2009
A moment's pause
Sunday 14th June
Harry and I had a great swim today on Loch Ryan. The weather has been gorgeous for 2 weeks if a bit windy at times. I like this shot which gives an idea of the scenery and the ferry in the background. I tow a buoy behind me when we practice for safety purposes and there's a picture further on to give you an idea of our set up when we take the Kayak.Meanwhile here's a round up of my week.
Monday
Met Harry at Wig Bay Bill came down with his boat again. Swam for about an hour and a half. Bit chilly but OK. The water temp is good. Must get used to going out in the sea after work as I was a bit disorganised. I had no shoes apart from my work shoes and I forgot the Vaseline so I got chaffed under my arms...silly!
Tuesday
Long and arduous day at work
Wednesday
Swam at 6.30am and worked on stroke correction mainly with paddles. Did a couple of times 500's and keeping well under 9 minutes. Managed 8.40 and 8.47 but to be honest we forgot to stop the watch so it's a bit of a calculation. Fell strong and well and stroke has definitely improved. 3,800 meters
Managed 10 minutes of rowing when I got home
Thursday
Back in the pool at 6.30am and continued work with paddles. Also did 10 IM's which is good for the soul. Did about 4000 meters
Friday
Meant to go to the pool after work but didn't finish work till 7.30pm so gave up that idea!!! Went to the Blue Peter with mates and started to unwind.
Sat
Power walked to village to school event and then worked in the garden. 20 minutes rowing.
Now that's a tiring week eh?
Part of the reason that I was so manic this week is that I am in hospital tomorrow as a day case. I am having a general anaesthetic so I'll be laying low for a few days. This is now officially a rest week, so I'll be hanging up my goggles for a week. There will be a brief interlude, and I'll talk to you when I 'm back at it!!! Don't worry it's nothing serious but I hope that I will be cured this time............
Sunday, 7 June 2009
CHALLENGES AND TRIUMPHS
Sunday June 7th 2009The support boats are fading into the distance as they make their way into the sunset to make a living.....how selfish!!! Fish being the main word here. Most boat captains I have approached are now busy. This week I visited a very gorgeous large boat which can have 20 passengers. He has now been booked for the actual swim but can't get us over to Ailsa Craig for a practice until the end of July because he is fishing and is booked for trips and so on. So now I'm pursuing other options. Luckily today our lovely neighbour Bill came to the rescue and we went out into the Loch for a 3 ish mile swim with his wee boat. Euan joined us for safety and I managed without my aqua skin. We swam for about an hour and a half. Ian came too and it was great to see him after his triumph in Lanzarote....a real Ironman now! Here is a picture of me taking some water as I gulped loads of sea water today being as the water was quite choppy.
So, some frustrations and it seems like a mammoth task to coordinate everything. Many many doubts right now....many doubts.
Meanwhile I was away this week for three days with work. Very difficult to concentrate on swimming but even so I managed an early swim on Wednesday morning and then drove to Dumfries. That day I spoke to 100 or so Health Care professionals about how we cope living with memory loss. EB gave me permission to speak about her experiences and I think the talk went very well. I also got some sponsors which is brilliant. Writing about our life is a great way to focus the mind and heart on why I am bothering to do all this. The chief exec of Alzheimer Scotland was there and made a fantastic speech about the personalisation agenda and radical changes in the way we think about how we deliver care. I then worked in Glasgow and then Dundee where on Friday we won a really important National Award for the project I manage at work which is very exciting.
So I remain very tired and concerned, but the positive thought for today is to trust that we will make this swim happen and with your help smash the target of £10 000 for people who really really need our help.
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