November 17th

So friends, when does a lack of motivation become terminal? I have reflected on some issues regarding my own self perception recently. Am I a finely honed athlete who is strong and fit and can hold her own in a competitive field, or am I an overweight middle aged woman with no will power and no consistency regarding motivation? The answer is probably somewhere in the middle. I recognise some aspects in both these characters but I would like to find a place of comfort and balance. I have lost my motivation since the Luce Bay swim and have managed a couple of swims and the rower was gathering dust. This is not unusual and if you read the blogs of some other swimmers they talk about these things too.
The factors influencing me right now are

• Extra and unexpected pressure at work requiring lots of travel and longer hours
• EB has been away for 2 weeks
• Harry is also away for a length of time
• I have a sore back
• Its winter
• I love eating too much
• People keep inviting me out........

Then I had a chat with my friend David Hislop who is an indoor rowing champion. He told me to move the rowing machine which is in my hall so that while I am rowing I can watch TV. Up to now I have been glued to the monitor and he pointed out that if you watch the clock 10 minutes can seem like an age.

So I went to the pool on Thursday morning and thoroughly enjoyed the session with the Stingrays. I felt surprisingly strong which made me realise that I have not become a slob yet!
Then I pulled the rower into the lounge ( watch that back!) and had an excellent session while watching a film I had wanted to see for ages. I was easily able to monitor my pace and time. Such a simple piece of advice and so effective. I feel much better and I'm off to the pool tonight to see if I can keep up the pace a bit. I know that all the influential factors can become excuses but they also need acknowledging so I can tame them and not feel overwhelmed.

By the way, since EB has been away, the central heating broke down, the car broke down, there was a huge rat in the chicken coop, the lights in the chicken coop went out, Flo the cat went missing....she's back! and so I have had a great deal of stress........... Come back all is forgiven!

So, things are looking up and I will keep you posted. I understand some of you are reading this as I have had some complaints since I have stopped writing. Sorry!

I will write again and let you know some of my times as some of you seem interested in the technical side of things

Bye for now