Is this the end?

Wednesday 23rd September
It has been a busy and buzzy few days as I come to terms with the end of the project. I was back at work the following Monday and I felt unreal, emotional and happily tired. My arms were very sore and I had the best physio session ever with David who sorted out my shoulders and back mainly. He and Harry warned me that there are chemical changes that happen after a swim like that! Toxins have built up in my muscles and I will miss the endorphins which have been flooding my system with the amount of intensive training I have been doing. I ventured ointo the pool on Monday and swam for an hour and a half. I felt strong and it was lovely to see the Stingrays who had waited so patiently for me on the beach. They were lively and excited and gave me a boost. I did sets of 200 IM's which felt good but I guess may have been a bit much as I had difficulty waking up the next morning.
In fact this week has been more challenging than last week, as I feel the emotional drain and the stress of keeping up with the demands of my job. Luckily I love my job, so it's no hardship!
I have been asked some technical questions about the swim. I will try to upload Harry's swim log from the day which is very interesting. It shows that I dropped my stroke from 64 strokes a minute to 50 after only 3 hours. That was unexpected and I would have been worried about that if I had known. However I managed to maintain that stroke pattern for the rest of the swim which I am pleased about. I did not drop below 49 at all.
So what now?
I am going to see if I can keep my level of fitness up, maybe lose a little weight and shape up. This means that I will need to up the intensity of anything I do, but reduce the length and time of sessions. So a little and often and be careful of myself.
I am stressed about making sure I thank everyone and I think I will spend the rest of my life thanking you all. It's also expensive as now I feel I have to sponsor everybody....for ever....take note!
The administration of the fundraising continues and we're not closing the fund yet. We are asking that you log onto www.easyfundraising.com or follow the link on this website, register with the Ailsa Craig Swim Challenge and then shop away! Many retailers like Amazon, Ebay and Tescos will give us a percentage of what you spend! Costs you nothing and we make money for the fund. Tell your friends and we will then close the fund at the end of December to give everyone a chance to do their Christmas shopping......SPREAD THE WORD! It's been set up for a while but we just forgot to broadcast it.....I wonder why???

A full Report

The Start

I promised a full report and I think I'm just about ready to share my experience although my brain isn't working very well. I think I am recovering well until I try to lift my arms.....don't lift your arms then!!!!!!

We left Ailsa Craig on the morning of September 12th at 8.20am. That was a special moment for me as the boat dropped me off and I swam to the rock all by myself. I scrambled onto the beach and there was just me, a grey seal and a large cormorant. Such peace and serenity. I stopped a while and breathed it in. I saw my trusty support team on the boat waiting for the start of the day we had waited so long for. We agreed that I would swim for 2 hrs and then have a stop and then hourly stops from then on.
It was a bit cloudy and Ifelt chilly and unsure for moments but overall I felt positive and strong. The water temp was about 15c and it was calm. It soon became clear that I had company. Seals! Especially an enormous dog seal we called Big Ed as his head was almost as big as my body. He was probably about 11 foot we reckon.

Big Ed swam with me for 7hrs. The last time I saw him was about 2 miles from the beach and he raised his huge majestic head and disappeared. He touched my toes and swam underneath me. All the time there were other smaller seals around me. It was spritual, magical, and forever with me.

Hours 3 and 4 were good and I felt the privilege of being out in such beautiful waters with amazing wildlife seemingly looking after me. The boat crew seemed happy and the atmosphere was wonderful. Hour 6 we felt optimistic as we thought that we were on the final stretch and we could see the buildings and the beach.

Unfortunately we were then caught in an unexpected atlantic swell which came from the storms we had last week. The swell caused us to be caught and pushed way off course, and we ended up getting stuck for about 2 1/2 hours. It was very frustrating and for the first time I honestly thought I was going to fail.

I was in agony and my shoulders and back in particular were very painful. In fact I can say that not one part of my body did not hurt. Then I remembered my friend in the village who had fallen off a roof the previous Monday and I thought....that's real pain, this pain will stop when I finish the swim....keep going.....keep going!

There were about 200 people on the beach and the drummers were drumming and the piper Andy was piping and the crowds were cheering and I couldn't hear any of it. I didn't know if I could stand up and I felt disappointed because I knew I had been in water much longer than we had planned. I had lost perspective though and I wasn't sure exactly what had happened. I heard almost immediately that I had swum 17.5 miles and it had taken me 8 hrs 27 mins and 44 secs.......oh boy that was some atlantic swell!!!!!

The reception was fantastic and everyone was crying.

The relief of completing the swim washed over me as I soaked up the love and support I received. Thanks to everyone who helped me to acheive this goal and the most important thing is that we continue to raise money for a cause which is crucial to the lives of carers and those who suffer from this wicked disease. We are lucky and just look at the faces of the crew as we celebrated months of hard work and determination. I'll add some more footage soon.

This is not over!

I did it!!!

Completed the swim in 8 hours and 25 minutes!! and even managed a leap as I reached the beach!!

Conditions meant that by the time we'd got to the beach I'd swam 17.5 miles!

Will write soon.....am resting my weary arms!

Thank you for all of your support, it really did keep me going.

xxx

We're Off!

ALL SET TO GO!
At last we're off and we have a confirmed date. Saturday 12th September is the date of the big swim at last, at last. The weather looks good and we have plans in place. Sadly not all our plans have worked out as the crew have changed due to availability and selfishly some people have other commitments........I know. My Mum warned me once that you just can't have it all.......I know
I am beside myself with excitement and I really believe that this is it.
For those of you who want to be there when I finish we are due to leave Ailsa Craig at 9am so we will hit the beach at Girvan anytime after 2.30pm. Collect at the snack kiosk just off the A77. Use my mobile phone number for updates. If I answer the phone take that as a bad sign.....There will be volunteers on the beach from about 12 noon onwards. We hope that South West Sound will broadcast my progress.
To stave off the adrenalin rush I have decided to share a quick check list with you

For pain;

1. Head .................. check
2. Neck ...................check
3. Shoulders............check
4. Back....................check
5. Hip......................check
6. Knee....................check

Everything seems to be in working order and in fact I feel great. The above parts of my body are the most dodgy and need extra attention, so I'll take extra care.

From now on I am resting, eating loads of chocolate cos Harry says chocolate helps you to float and stretching and trying to get loads of sleep if I can. I have re painted my toe nails as suggested in an earlier blog so

Toenails.........................check

I may check in again on Friday, but if not keep in touch and I will give you a full report AFTER THE SWIM!

Loch Ryan Double

At last we managed something amazing! I swam across Loch Ryan and back avoiding ferries in 3 hours and 6 minutes. We were very pleased with the time. We think we may be able to register this swim so I have filled in the BLDSA form and here's hoping we have at last gone into the record books. We believe Lord Stair swam across Loch Ryan in the 1950's but we're not sure if he swam back again. Not sure if anyone else has done it.

The crew were as follows. Kayak, Harry Waugh and Emily Lawson who I have known since she was a bump and at 25 made a stunning debut on a sea kayak. She is an accomplished rower and took to the kayak like a duck to water (sorry about that one!) Harry Drysdale on the sailing club rescue boat. Reassuring and professional. Shore support, David Lawson, brother to Emily, very patient and thorough. Also the coast guard were on hand, saw us off and met us on the other side. Then they greeted me with a space blanket and loads of encouragement. The sailing club let me use their hot showers and it was the best shower in the world.

When we left the Wig slip at 11.30am, the water was calm. By the time we returned 3 hrs later it was raging. The wind whipped up and the waves were crashing over my head.

As we approached the beach on the other side I had figured that we would not be going back. I thought it was too rough and that the ferry was due. After a quick consult we realised that we could do it and it was worth a shot. There is nothing more motivating than seeing a very big boat loom at you on the horizon!!!

Once we had crossed the shipping lane I felt better but I still didn't want it tickling my feet..................

Thanks also to Gill for cooking the best Nut roast and trimmings I have ever tasted!!!!

We are still hoping to attempt Ailsa Craig next weekend.

Please cross everything you have to sort the weather out

Thank you

What Next?

As August rushes to a close and another neap tide fades into the distance with the wind hammering the Irish seas I realise I have a lot to be grateful for. I am now 50 years old and I have had a wonderful couple of weeks surrounded by friends and family from all corners of the country and indeed the world. We had a superb party on the 15th to distract us from the disappointment of the swim being postponed. In fact we were able to relax and enjoy each others company. Yonni rocked the house and we celebrated both EB and I turning 50 as we danced to the early hours.

A week full of guests we then walked and explored and talked and drank and ate and celebrated life. Everyone worked together to cook and keep the house and we had a great week.

On Saturday 22nd The Spooky Men from Australia arrived and they ran an unbelievable workshop for the drumming group in the afternoon. They bought a magic quality with them which warmed our souls and raised our spirits even higher. That night they raised the roof at the Millennium Centre to an amazed and delighted crowd. We made £154 in the raffle that night and the Spooks gave us some of the profit from the door takings. A great night all round. We put the Spooky men up, 10 stayed with us and the other 16 were dispatched with our friends nearby. All agreed that they were the most gracious and generous guests. We drummed and danced after the gig until the early hours. Check them out on U tube or their website for further info. Unfortunately their tour is ending soon, but they'll be back. http://www.spookymen.com/ www.myspace.com/thespookymenschorale

Through all this excitement I still managed a couple of big long swims in the pool, some jogging and rowing. A huge amount of will power was required, but I've come this far and actually all the people inspired me to keep going.

So what now?

The next neap tide is September 12th, 13th and 14th. We are all set to go! The long term weather forecast looks hopeful but sssssh don't tell anyone just in case....so Harry and I and Andy went out today even though the weather was blustery and foggy. The sea was beautiful. A stunning colour and amazing fish today. We swam at Port Logan and managed a couple of hours. The temperature was good and I felt strong. Sadly I was stung immediately by Jelly Fish on the back of my legs and my feet and I think I will suffer tomorrow. . However I feel we boosted our confidence today, and the mood is better. This week I'll be in the pool tomorrow night and I hope to do 6000 meters. Then Wednesday we plan to go out on the Kayak after work. Pool Friday night and then we may try Loch Ryan across and back at the weekend. Certainly we'll do a big swim somewhere. I'll row inbetween and stay happy, and I hope you do too

Weather against us but not downhearted

19th August 09

Well friends the weather is surely against us and I wish I had a pound for every person who has said that Saturday 15th was great weather and why didn't we do the swim? The sun did shine I grant you but the wind was our enemy and we made absolutely the right decision not to go.

However we did gather on the beach on August 15th and there were one or two souls there gazing hopefully out to sea thinking we must have drowned!

Let's swim to that rock!

Instead we frolicked and played in the sea and Jacqui and Harry got to practice in the Kayak. Nicky also had a go and she thought she was just coming for a party! Melissa and Ruby braved the sea which was actually quite warm. My sister Vicki, who is a nurse was in charge of hypothermia if we had done the big swim, was seen wandering vaguely about clutching a wrapped up thermal space blanket. My cousins and sisters and friends had fun and then we rocked the night away with a great party. Yonni did a great job singing for us and as usually we bopped till we dropped. We know how to cope with a bit of bad weather people....have a party anyway.

Go Nicky Go!

Please note the difference in attire!

So no news at the moment but it looks like there will be no chance until the end of the month. Meanwhile I keep up my training. 5000 meters in the pool yesterday morning and tomorrow morning, and rowing today.

Postponed

Thursday 13th August
Well friends after all the preparation training and anticipation we find ourselves unable to complete the swim this weekend. There is a low weather front heading to Ailsa Craig and it is not shifting. We are all on standby and ready to go but it is a tricky time for everyone as the weather is changing by the hour. As it stands right now there are no plans to swim Friday Saturday or Sunday.
Keep checking in and I'll keep you posted.

Loch Rannoch

Monday 10th August

Training during the week went more or less to plan and I feel good. Wednesday was very windy so Harry and I ventured back to wig bay to try and get rid of some demons about my eye crisis. I went in and there were big waves and a very strong current. It was exhilarating and gave me the chance to feel what it's like when the tide is against me.

A shorter swim on Thursday as I prepare for Sundays challenge. Met lots of enthusiastic people who sent messages of support.

Saturday Harry and I left for Loch Rannock at about 12.30pm. The journey was very long due to roadworks and we didn't get to the B and B till almost 8pm. We did stop for some food and we also found the finish of the race...a very beautiful loch and surroundings.

After a fitful night dreaming about boats and water Harry and I had a mediocre breakfast in our curious and strange B and B and headed off to the start of the race. I had to be dropped there on my own at 8am so that Harry could drive to the finish to leave his car there. He met up with the other swimmers and drove back which was a long process. I was left with the midges who tried to eat me.

I seemed to be in the grounds of an incredible house which was in the process of renovation. A man who said he was the groundsman arrived and said the place had burnt down in the 1980's killing two people who lived there. He said the owners would be along shortly. I tried the door and it was open so I could escape the midges.....

Soon I was joined by some people who worked there looking after holiday cottages and then along came Ian who was the owner. He told me of his dream to save the ruined house with his wife of nearly 50 years. They have been renovating the house since 1996. He showed me round and upstairs is his own lounge and bedroom and I told him it was one of the most beautiful views in the world from a bedroom. What do you think?

Sadly she never saw the dream completed as she died 15 months ago. Ian is surrounded by loving friends and family and I was very taken by the man and his story, but there was a sadness still which I think will in the end lead to the completion of his wonderful home and enterprise. If you want to learn more, visit http://www.rannock-lodge.co.uk/

I know I have met some new friends and could have gone home happy after stumbling on an amazing place and fascinating people. But don't forget...I was there to swim and soon the others arrived.

There were five swimmers in the end, three younger people who were out to win and then Morag and I who were older. Morag told me she swims steady and strong and she seemed to be someone of incredible determination and courage who had completed some incredible swims. If you read this Morag get in touch because I did not see you at the end and I'd like to keep in touch. I knew that the young champions would steam ahead. The atmosphere was great and so I felt really relaxed and ready to face the challenge ahead of me. There was some mention of the rule that swimmers had to complete the swim 90 minutes after the first finisher. I couldn't think about it as we were about to set off and I was fiddling about with my kit.

The water was 16c and so I felt optimistic as we set off. I didn't see the younger swimmers for dust and I quickly settled into a rhythm.

Most of the time I felt good and I really enjoyed the scenery and beauty. I was comfortable and got into my stride. I had some trouble keeping my mind in check as the swim went on relentlessly. I realised I was making progress and tried to concentrate on putting one arm in front of the other. Harry was there hardly taking his eyes of me and seemed to know when I was losing concentration.

About halfway I stopped for a drink and an energy gel. I felt the suspicion of cramp in both calves and this was a bad sign. When I stopped again about an hour later the cramp came back and threatened to take hold. I had to be so careful and I tentatively swam on without kicking much. Harry kept reassuring me. The trouble really started when I could see the finish. I suddenly thought that I was swimming backwards. It felt like a nightmare of arms whirling round and round to no avail against the black peat water. I was convinced I was swimming backwards and I told Harry I couldn't finish. My stroke went completely and dropped down to 46 strokes a minute. Harry told me later he considered stopping me especially if my stroke dropped any further. I realised I had absolutely no choice but to swim on and find my rhythm again. I was furious that I was in this terrible situation and I had no choice about it and that was so frustrating words cannot express my panic.........

I had also been in pain since the halfway point with my back and my shoulders. I decided to share this with Harry. ' I'm in pain you know!' Harry smiled and said 'Well I'd be worried if you couldn't feel anything...being in pain is a good sign!'

So I splooshed to the end and crawled onto the beach after swimming for 5 hrs 23 minutes and 30 seconds. The man with the clipboard told me I should be proud to have done Loch Rannock but he couldn't give me a medal. I had gone beyond the cut off time.........more about this later

Weatherbeaten but not beaten

Sunday August 2nd 2009
Things are improving friends and I have swum well in the pool all week. Really worried about the heat in the pool and my lack of acclimatisation. Tensions are showing and we have had some tantrums this week as the team feel the pressure. By Thursday I decided that the only thing to do is to spread the love. Everyone has a role to play and everyone is doing their best and I realised that some people did not understand that perspective. Differing opinions are fine but consensus is crucial to our success. Some misunderstandings seem irreparable however and I feel that communication by text and email can be very misleading. If only we were closer geographically these things would not happen. However I can only hope that people will come round in time and get back on board...............the welcome will always be warm.

So today we had a rehearsal on board The Diva. The idea was to find out the best way to get the Kayak to Ailsa Craig for the swim. After much huffing and puffing and a tense try at towing the Kayak we finally hauled it on board and is sat snugly and efficiently on the boat. Hey presto we have lift off. This means that once we get the go ahead for the swim, we can get the Kayak aboard and head off for the Craig as fast as the Diva can muster! Thanks of course to Harry and Mike, but also to Chris and Harry H for all their support this morning.

SUCCESS!

After project Kayak this morning the two Harry's and I went to Sandhead for the first sea swim since my eye drama. The sea was clear and beautiful and NOT ONE Jelly fish which is unusual. I felt cold from the start and felt shivery when I got out. This is unusual and caused some concern. We put it down to stress at the moment and a tricky week. I was also playing with my friends last night at a wonderful party and although I wasn't drinking I had a late one. Harry has emphasised the need for me to get rest and plenty of sleep and to remain as stress free as possible. We swam for 2 hours and the eye was fine. Twinges in my back which is an old problem but not too bad.

This week I will swim 5000 meters tomorrow night. Tuesday or Wednesday in the sea with Harry. Thursday not sure but hopefully a sea swim. Friday rest and Saturday Harry and I are heading for Loch Rannoch.

After all the talk of Health and Safety I have painted my toenails bright red. This will help with visibility although if it's just my toes they can see it may be a bad sign.

Getting there

Friday July 31st
Thanks once again for all your messages and encouragement. Things are better and my eye is holding up. I have been training in the pool which has it's limitations. It's boring and too warm when swimming the distances I am covering. But my fitness has improved and I am on track. The weather however remains appalling and I have not been in the sea since my eye drama. Harry and I met today and the plan is to swim in the sea on Sunday whatever the conditions. We are also meeting the Skipper to practice getting the Kayak on the boat. More later

One small step

Friday 24th July
Thanks to those who reacted to my last entry. I guess my sad little note worried some of you. Well yeah.....worry away...oh and send money, that'll help.
Work was frustrating today as my computer crashed big time so the conspiracy theory remained dominant. However here's the good news. Step one of the plan has been completed. Got in the pool at about 5.30pm and started with 1000 meters with paddles. Fiddled about a lot and felt very anxious. 'My eye's clouding up oh no....no its ok it's the goggles...it's ok, ok ok. Pulled my goggles so tight I gave myself brain freeze. Just relax a little at a time...it's ok, it's ok. Followed first 1000 with 10 x 400 Individual Medley......no prob and hey what's that? Oh nothing, it's just that I completely forgot about my eye...is that a little sting?...maybe.
Completed 5000 meters in 500 front crawl and almost felt like I was getting stronger and stronger. Arms a little achy towards the last 1000 but felt really good and relaxed for the second half. No problem with the eye at all. A little itchy maybe but settled with no blurred vision and no pain.
So all a bit more chilled tonight and ready for a sea swim on Sunday.

Giving Up

July 23rd 2009
Well they say that if the rehearsal is bad then it goes alright on the night. Well this rehearsal is appalling so the show should be fantastic.....if there is a show.
I was having such a great time as you know and then last Wednesday Harry and I had a short swim at Wig Bay. Something seemed to be blurring my vision so I poked and prodded my eye and when I got out I had very blurry vision in my left eye. By the time I got home it was agony and I ended up in A and E. Got some cream and the examination showed an unhappy eye but nothing much. Yes I could still go swimming just go easy and keep the goggles on and don't poke it! Next day the eye was fine!
The following evening Harry and I were set for a long swim with the Kayak. After 30 minutes my eye clouded over and we stopped the swim. A couple of hours later I was in A and E screaming in agony. All I could do the next day was lie in the dark. Thank god for radio 4.
Saw the specialist on Tuesday and I have a scratch on my eye and no wonder it was painful and it probably got infected. All healing now and anti biotic cream for a month and no he can't guarantee it won't happen again........
I know people...THIS IS NOT GOOD!
My morale is rock bottom and I feel like giving up. My eye is fine now and feels good today....but what if ...what if? Technical arrangements for the big day are much more tricky than we thought and the weather is terrible. It has been so windy we wouldn't have been able to go to Ailsa Craig for a practice anyway. Sunday looks just as bad. So here's the plan
Friday 5000 meter swim in the pool
Sat Rowing or running
Sun Ailsa Craig weather permitting or a local swim
Aug 9th Loch Rannoch race 9.5 miles

I'm not at all happy or confident about any of this. I have lost my good eating habits and have hit the chocolate big time. I hate the way I am making a bad situation worse but Harry says lots of chocolate makes you float!!!!!!

The Diva

Back on track...All aboard The Diva with Mike the Skipper

July 12th

This week has been much better as I go from strength to strength. I have been in the pool although not with the Stingrays and work is full on including a day trip to Belfast. I am full of happy memories as we did some hob nobbing at the Queens garden party and then we saw the Eagles in Glasgow which was just awesome! We were 5 rows from the front and I still don't know how I managed that. If you ever need good seats just ask me and I'll do it without trying! I looked into the eyes of Joe Walsh and Don Henley and I think this has enhanced my week and probably my year hugely!!!
So now I am swimming again in the sea and the tune I have in my head is Waiting in the Weeds by the Eagles from The Long Road Out of Eden. There's plenty of seaweed and green algae which is not toxic to us but is devastating for shell fish. Luckily it is also deterring the jelly fish so far. I am up to 400 meters and on Friday night we finally boarded the Diva which is now the boat for the main event! She's a beauty and quite fast so she wasn't at my shoulder but ahead all the time. It was like a computer game, she would hover and then as I approached she would take off again. The verdict though is positive and we will have a kayak in the water as well on the day. Logistics are tricky but we are squaring up details each day now.
Today Harry and I went out in the loch and I truly found my pace again. Swam about 3.5 miles.
Plans for this week are to swim Monday with the Stingrays, Wednesday hopefully with the Diva and Friday with Harry. Sunday we are going back to Ailsa Craig on the Diva.
Loads of pressure now as the fundraising reaches its peak and time is running out.

Ailsa Craig at last

Monday 6th July
Got back to work part time and then managed a full week last week. The bad news is that I now have an infection and I'm still feeling a bit low. Swam 300o meters last Wednesday and felt OK but very tired afterwards. Have done some rowing and two runs to Ladybay and although I have had no ill affects it's all a bit slow ya know!
Oh right....Ailsa Craig. Yes we got there courtesy of the boat The Glorious with skipper Mark. No swimming due to slow recovery but we climbed up. We only had 2 hrs on the rock all together so it was a struggle. Very very steep with undefined paths and loose stones underfoot. Not for the feint hearted actually but I loved it. Harry got to the top, Carrie made it almost half way and I could see the top and was tantilisingly close but knew my limit. She is very beautiful and we saw puffins, seals loadsa birds and even 2 dolphins! I would recommend the trip, it's well worth the money....£25 each.
The plan this week is to swim Wednesday at the pool, Friday open water and Sunday open water.

A bit Pear Shaped

The thing about being unwell is how wonderful it is when you feel better, which I finally am. It also makes me realise how lucky I am to have my health and to have the privilege to swim and gad about the way I do.
The title of this entry is not a description of my shape!!! It's actually a description of my encounter with a surgeon last Monday. Someone thought I said an encounter with a sturgeon and that I had been attacked by a fish, but no unfortunately this was not the case. I think caviar is so overrated. So here's what happened...
Diary of a middle aged patient
Monday 15th June
08.45am
Got to Day Surgery in Dumfries. My friend Jane and I were so tired as we left home at 6am. 'No anaesthetic required' I quipped. All good news, I was second on the list and I had visions of eating toast and heading home by lunch time. I know how this works.......
9am
Nervous looking registrar suggests that the surgery may be more complicated than they initially thought so I would be moved to the end of the morning list. 'Don't send me home!' I quipped
10.30am
Was given strong painkillers as a pre med. 'Is this a clue to how bad it could be?' I quipped
11am
Reassured by anaesthetist that they knew my heart was a bit weird and that my pulse and BP could be low. 'Try not to kill me' I quipped
1pm
Surgeon tells me they have had second thoughts about surgery today due to possible complications. I pleaded with dignity like this....'Please please please please please don't send me home Dr....you have no idea etc etc etc etc etc. ' Then comes a speech from me about how surgeons need to understand that people who come for day surgery have to set up all kinds of things to get there like care for dependants, time off work, friends to bring us....yeah you get the picture. He heard about the swim last. Anyway anyway anyway, we came to an agreement that they would proceed and if it turned out to be complicated they would call me back another day. Then he told me I had missed my place on the list and he would have to plead with theatre staff to fit me in. He went away to negotiate. I waited in my hospital gown and dressing gown and crocs feeling like I was waiting for the car salesman to return after negotiating the price of the car with the boss.
He came back shook my hand and said the deal had been sealed. Before I had time to work out that maybe fitting me in wasn't perhaps the best idea for the morale of the the staff who would be in charge of my unconscious body, I was on the anaesthetic table. Wait a minute....the shift has changed and it's a different anaesthetist....'You do know about my heart' I managed to gulp while the oxygen mask was heading my way. 'Thank you so ....much.....for ........fitting.....me...in zzzzzzz z z z '
3pm
In recovery sleepy...ouch ouch ouch...more painkillers...more more
5pm
BP 87 /40
PULSE 28
Feel TERRIBLE!
5.30pm
Intensive Cardiac Unit Dr leans over me....'Did you tell anyone about your heart and low BP and Pulse?'
Me 'I don't think I told that lady over there or the cleaner, but I told everyone else'
Result
Procedure was fine and was tricky but not as complicated as the surgeon feared so all was well
I was admitted and monitored overnight.
Got home Tuesday lunchtime
Tuesday pm Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
No idea.....wafted about like a ghost. Read a little, mostly brain dead
Saturday
Thought RIGHT this is enough...got up and dressed and went to Portpatrick for lunch with EB and gang
Saturday pm
wafted about like a ghost
Anyway anyway anyway I finally got back to work for a half day yesterday (Thursday) and today looked a little less like a ghost. No swimming.
PLAN
Ailsa Craig attempt 2 is on Sunday. I know I know I know but the boat has been booked for weeks so we're going. Harry has been keeping in touch and says he's not worried, and I musn't take risks. Hopefully I'll be in the water and then business as usual next week. We think that just to be at the Craig will give me a psychological boost, so we may just climb up it.
Did I tell you we did win a National Care Accolade at work?.....maybe I dreamt it in a drug induced haze.....

A moment's pause

Sunday 14th June

Harry and I had a great swim today on Loch Ryan. The weather has been gorgeous for 2 weeks if a bit windy at times. I like this shot which gives an idea of the scenery and the ferry in the background. I tow a buoy behind me when we practice for safety purposes and there's a picture further on to give you an idea of our set up when we take the Kayak.

Meanwhile here's a round up of my week.

Monday

Met Harry at Wig Bay Bill came down with his boat again. Swam for about an hour and a half. Bit chilly but OK. The water temp is good. Must get used to going out in the sea after work as I was a bit disorganised. I had no shoes apart from my work shoes and I forgot the Vaseline so I got chaffed under my arms...silly!

Tuesday

Long and arduous day at work

Wednesday

Swam at 6.30am and worked on stroke correction mainly with paddles. Did a couple of times 500's and keeping well under 9 minutes. Managed 8.40 and 8.47 but to be honest we forgot to stop the watch so it's a bit of a calculation. Fell strong and well and stroke has definitely improved. 3,800 meters

Managed 10 minutes of rowing when I got home

Thursday

Back in the pool at 6.30am and continued work with paddles. Also did 10 IM's which is good for the soul. Did about 4000 meters

Friday

Meant to go to the pool after work but didn't finish work till 7.30pm so gave up that idea!!! Went to the Blue Peter with mates and started to unwind.

Sat

Power walked to village to school event and then worked in the garden. 20 minutes rowing.

Now that's a tiring week eh?

Part of the reason that I was so manic this week is that I am in hospital tomorrow as a day case. I am having a general anaesthetic so I'll be laying low for a few days. This is now officially a rest week, so I'll be hanging up my goggles for a week. There will be a brief interlude, and I'll talk to you when I 'm back at it!!! Don't worry it's nothing serious but I hope that I will be cured this time............

CHALLENGES AND TRIUMPHS

Sunday June 7th 2009

The support boats are fading into the distance as they make their way into the sunset to make a living.....how selfish!!! Fish being the main word here. Most boat captains I have approached are now busy. This week I visited a very gorgeous large boat which can have 20 passengers. He has now been booked for the actual swim but can't get us over to Ailsa Craig for a practice until the end of July because he is fishing and is booked for trips and so on. So now I'm pursuing other options. Luckily today our lovely neighbour Bill came to the rescue and we went out into the Loch for a 3 ish mile swim with his wee boat. Euan joined us for safety and I managed without my aqua skin. We swam for about an hour and a half. Ian came too and it was great to see him after his triumph in Lanzarote....a real Ironman now! Here is a picture of me taking some water as I gulped loads of sea water today being as the water was quite choppy.

So, some frustrations and it seems like a mammoth task to coordinate everything. Many many doubts right now....many doubts.

Meanwhile I was away this week for three days with work. Very difficult to concentrate on swimming but even so I managed an early swim on Wednesday morning and then drove to Dumfries. That day I spoke to 100 or so Health Care professionals about how we cope living with memory loss. EB gave me permission to speak about her experiences and I think the talk went very well. I also got some sponsors which is brilliant. Writing about our life is a great way to focus the mind and heart on why I am bothering to do all this. The chief exec of Alzheimer Scotland was there and made a fantastic speech about the personalisation agenda and radical changes in the way we think about how we deliver care. I then worked in Glasgow and then Dundee where on Friday we won a really important National Award for the project I manage at work which is very exciting.

So I remain very tired and concerned, but the positive thought for today is to trust that we will make this swim happen and with your help smash the target of £10 000 for people who really really need our help.

Sunday May 31st 2009

I knew something was wrong. This despondency was more than my imagination and I just couldn't work out what the problem was. Then Harry came to the poolside on Monday. I managed to get there in good time this week and Harry decided to look at my stroke, and hey presto! My stroke has gone array, and I was losing power causing extreme inefficiency and therefore losing seconds every length of the pool.

He asked me to warm up as usual with a steady 500 meters. I did it in just less than 9 minutes. Then he adjusted my stroke which was mainly that my left arm is pulling almost at right angles instead of down towards my body. Also I am reaching too far forward. After a couple of practices he asked me to do another 500 meters at the same steady pace. I did it in 8.12......WOW what a difference. This technique could shave 30 minutes off the Ailsa Craig swim.

Since then I have been unable to get in the pool but I have been concentrating on stretching, jogging, and rowing.

Delighted that Jane and Chris are also going to the Queens garden party at Hollyrood Palace on June 30th .....I don't know who nominated me or why, but we think it must be something to do with the swim. Strange eh? It's something I haven't done yet and I haven't given anyone any money yet!!! A funny old world.

The photo was taken by Chris at the top of Byne Hill on the walk last week. I love it. Plans are that we head to Ailsa Craig the weekend after next...Back in the pool tomorrow and then I'm away Wed Thurs and Fri. Friday is the final for the Care Accolades in Dundee, so I'm hob nobbing!!!! I'll let you know how I get on but work is playing havoc with my training this week.

By the way, I do apologise the setting for leaving comments was restricted so now I have adapted it, so anyone can leave a comment....so please do!

A famous day

Sunday May 24th
Have you ever had one of those days when everyone says 'remember that famous day when....?' Well today was the famous day when we didn't go to Ailsa Craig.

Giddy with excitement we arranged to meet the boat pilot in Girvan at 9.30am. Apart from the boat pilot, the crew were my mate Chris his friend Linda and our Harry. I had that much stuff with me as instructed by Harry who always says be ready for anything. We were hoping do a combination of climbing to the top and down again which would take about an hour and a half and swimming round it which is about 5k we think.
The day was sunny and the mood was riotous as we headed up the coast with the taste of adventure in the air. Soon to be dampened however as we met an unhappy skipper who said the wind had picked up and it was just too risky. Undeterred we decided to walk and headed up Byne Hill which was very steep. How lovely to sit on a hill in the sun with good friends eating sandwiches. Yep well you have a point ...obviously being on Ailsa Craig could have topped that but what can you do?
Then I swam at Girvan beach for about 40 minutes.......aaaah it was cold and I am reducing my comfort aides....so no boots and my feet never actually stopped hurting with cold. It may have been because we had been for long walk, but Harry did point out that the sea was only 13 c and hasn't warmed up for 3 weeks.
A bit shivery afterwards.

Plan B we will try again and again till we get there. It was wonderful to swim with Ailsa in sight.

Meanwhile the plan is to break the myth that I hate 500's. Monday night sessions will be short training sets with a mixture of drills with pullbuoys and paddles, and Wednesday mornings will be 500's with split timings breaking it into 100's but not stopping....get it? Then a weekend open water swim with some stretching and rowing inbetween.

Well done Ian who did a fantastic time at the triathlon in Lanzarote yesterday. Mmmm Lanzarote warm, sunny what a good idea. There must be a rock out there I could swim to.

By the way, did I tell you I've been invited to have tea with the Queen?

A new world order

So there is a new world order but someone forgot to tell me. I turned up on Monday night last week for the 8pm session with the Stingrays and the pool was empty...like a bad dream. Similar to when you find yourself with no clothes on, maybe not! The good news is that the 8pm slot has shifted as it was really too late for the children to be finishing at 9.30pm and not getting home till 10pm......never mind the children, what about 50 year olds? So today was a challenge as now I have to get to the pool between 4pm and 5pm on Mondays so it will take some organising to get out of work in time. I got there tonight just in time to see the kids getting out! I swam, but I missed them.

Harry suggested that I do sets of 500 now in 10 minutes. This means that any time left up to 10 minutes I get to rest. Harry wanted me to keep times down to below 9. Euan timed me on Wednesday morning and Rachel and Kieran joined me. We warmed up with 10x100 IM's with 10 seconds rest. Then the sets. My first set was 8.37. Next one 8.55, next 8.57 next 9.10......damn it! Felt lumbering and slow, new swanky goggles leaked and had a tantrum throwing my goggles off. Euan said gently that maybe I could work on my self belief ....Ok Ok I can I can I can. Help!

Took off that night to stay in Stockport for a few days R and R staying with my sister. Saw Eric Clapton at the MEN arena on Thursday night and I love him so much. The concert left me breathless and I loved being with my family just spending time together. Went shopping in Manchester with my sister on Friday. It's years since we have done that together. Managed a good run on Thursday maybe 3 miles or so we reckon, and then I went to circuit training with my sister on Saturday which was great.

Home now and facing a really busy time at work. We seem to have reached the finals of the SSSC Care Accolades and this is very exciting but has generated a huge influx of work and travel. The final is on June 5th in Dundee so I'll keep you posted. Any of you mad YABBA's out there I may be in touch for a swim while I'm in Dundee. (See previous Blogs when I did the Woodhaven swim last June) Getting tougher to keep up all my training with extra work pressures

May go to Ailsa Craig on Sunday....watch this space!

Swimathon

May 10th 2009

When I said I ran to Ladybay and had no ill effects I lied to you. I ran on Saturday and spent the whole bank holiday weekend trying to pretend that I wasn't stiff!!! It was very painful and my legs felt wobbly and sore. However I had a great week swimming with the Stingrays and doing well.

However, I ran again this Saturday and this time I mean it.....NO ILL EFFECTS! This thing is working and I'm getting fitter!

The main story this week though is that the amazing Stingrays did their swimathon on Saturday for our fund.

They swam anything between 20 and 160 lengths non stop, and some of them swam further than they had before in one go. I think it made them realise how far 10 miles is! The atmosphere at the pool was fantastic and we had volunteers and parents counting lengths and shouting encouragement. Iain Dick and John Dougan came along to support us but didn't show their legs this time. I'll let you know how much the Stingrays have raised but they were awesome. I love this collaboration, and it will continue after the swim I'm sure. I get so much from knowing these young people. Please note that following this photo the kids lept up and John, Iain and I were left struggling to our feet, in my case knees cracking.

Swam at Sandhead today with Harry in the Kayak. It was fantastic to be out there again. No wetsuit now and although cold I did really well. 40 minutes with no problems. It was great to see my old buddy Ian Hannah who is training hard for a big triathlon in 2 weeks time in Lanzarote.....GOOD LUCK Ian. He's great company. The weather was stunning today and Scotland was looking its glittering best.

Back in the Driving Seat

May 3rd 2009
I got some good advice this week
'Ros, just get on with it! If we put you in the sea right now you know and I know that you could swim to Ailsa Craig. You've just got to believe it' Yeah ok then, but I'm not minimising my challenges regarding not feeling in the best of health. However having consulted the GP who also told me not to panic things really do seem to be back in hand this week.
Only managed one pool swim. Got on the rower and got sweaty a couple of times. Easily ran to Ladybay with no ill affects. Then today, I finally got in the sea at Ladybay. I loved it although it was extremely cold and I went numb, but I did really well and swam for 25 minutes.
Back? a OK
Heart? a Ok
Hormones? ***!?""*"!?

This week, I will be in the pool with the Stingrays tomorrow night, wednesday morning at 6.30am and then Harry and I are going to be at Sandhead or Port Logan on Sunday for a really good long swim.
I will row at any chance I get although I am away for work one night this week.
Ta Ta for now

A slump!

April 29th
I know I've been a bit quiet but I have had a couple of weeks of severe doubt! Not feeling at all well and facing some medical challenges hasn't helped. It seems like a clash when others around you seem to be feeling the same. On a positive note, I can tell you that the Stingrays taught me to tumble turn which has been a liberating experience. However, sometimes I forget to do them, I can't do them in the shallow end in case I hit my head and I definitely can't do them with flippers on. I will work on these issues by talking about them.....
So, I am over it OK? I will do it, I can do it and I will not be intimidated by those who are worthier than I and much more dedicated to their sport. I say this with admiration, not criticism or bitterness......no no no.
I can do it
I can

A fantastic boost to our funds

April 12th 2009
Easter Day
I have has some health problems and have not been swimming this week. Had some really good sessions with the Stingrays the week before which were good, and I have kept up with my rowing this week and upped the pressure a bit. The challenge with Concept 2 has now finished so I have to work hard at keeping my motivation up. However having increased the rowing I have enjoyed it much more and I can feel the benefits.
Harry is back which has really given me a boost and he has enjoyed reading the blog which has kept him up to date. We had a chat yesterday about my back which is in fact holding up at the moment.

Here's a story about cooperation and opportunity.

My friend Veronica who is raising money for an amazing project in Kenya which is called the Tara project had organised a couple of events to raise money which I had attended and donated some raffle prizes. Veronica reached her funding goal and asked me last Friday if we would like the bag packing session she had booked at Morrisons on Easter Saturday. I accepted immediately and tried to round up some volunteers at the last minute. Many of my friends were away, but we managed. We packed bags for 4 hours. I 'd like to thank Veronica, Jane, Thomas, Gina, Chantice, Kaitlin, Jane, Katie, Vicki, James, Anne, Dave, Lesley and EB for their hard work. Suzanne was away but came up to the house with buckets and stuck on posters and tops. Ladies and Gentlemen I would like to announce that we raised £1003. Can you believe it? A wonderful boost to our funds and great timing because it seems that many people had seen the article and photo of me with the politicians on the front page of the Free Press. People wanted to speak to me about the swim challenge and seemed interested in what we are trying to achieve.

At one point, my legs were aching and I hate supermarkets and shopping so it was in fact my worst nightmare. However I enjoyed meeting people and we all agreed it had been a highly successful event.

I'd rather be swimming though...any day

Diary of a middle aged swimmer

March 29th 2009

I have had an interesting week which has helped things along somewhat.

Monday

Felt no ill effects from the run to Lady Bay the previous day so I'm very pleased. Got to the pool in the evening with the Stingrays and we did 3900 meters. It was a tough swim as after a warm up of 900 meters in sets of 12, we did 30 sets of 100 meters on 2 minutes, all freestyle. Now, in order to meet the time, I need to breathe unilaterally as I can really get into the rhythm and pull strongly. Unfortunately I could feel the tweak in my back and I worried that I was damaging it. The minute I try bilateral breathing I feel my stroke weakening and I feel like I lose my speed. I need to ask Harry and David my physio how to stretch afterwards to combat the bias. However, I did seem to keep up my time and on the sets where I alternated my breathing I actually didn't lose as much time as I thought. Euan the coach thought my stroke stayed strong.

Tuesday

Got up at 5.50am but went back to bed as I knew I hadn't had enough sleep, so I chose to miss the early swim session. I was really pleased with my back though, and the body felt good. I knew I had a challenging week ahead work wise, and I got to work feeling refreshed and strong. Had a fantastic African drumming session as always in the evening.

Wednesday

Left for work at 6am and drove to Dumfries to work with a new group of people facilitating a challenging seminar. Got home at 7.45pm and got straight on the rower for which I feel very proud. I did 20 minutes.

Thursday
A follow up seminar but local this time and I felt refreshed and relaxed. I had some concern about our plans for a photo shoot on the beach on Saturday as the weather is looking bad. It has been very windy and if there is a hurricane blowing we will have some difficulty. I sent all the people involved an email saying we were monitoring the situation.

That night we swam 3,200. This time we did kicking and 25 meters at a time. I kept up, even though we mixed our strokes and I am so slow at backstroke and breaststroke. I like to mix my strokes though as it helps my overall fitness. Euan said I have improved greatly in the last month alone. He says I look strong. We are beginning to think about 'after the swim' which will be a challenging time for me.

Friday

Back to Dumfries for another busy day and straight out the minute I got home to a charity do for the Tara Project. Confirmed arrangements for tomorrow. Did interviews on the local radio about tomorrow for

BBC radio Scotland and South West Sound.

Saturday

As forecast very windy but sunny with great visibility. I jumped up feeling excited. It was wonderful to get out all my open water swimming stuff again. Wetsuit, boots, gloves, thermos, safety blanket, thermals etc etc......

Down to the beach and there was Suzanne. It was freezing and windy and I felt nervous. My risk assessment was negative as the wind chill factor was a major issue.

Then they came, one by one my VIP's as follows

Councillor Willie Scobie

Councillor Iain Dick

Councillor John Dougan

Russell Brown MP

Alex Fergusson MSP

I had challenged them to meet me on the beach and wear their trunks to launch the Open Water swimming season(sort of) and to get some publicity for the Fundraising

I felt overwhelmed and with the high winds and one or two over excited dogs, it was difficult to talk. The Free Press were there and we took our positions on the beach. After the photo op, what could I do?

I got in and swam at least 5 strokes. A quick change in a little brick building and it was all over. Thanks to everyone who came to support me, and to Carrie for the photos.

Sunday

Completed Concept 2 challenge on rower. Washed, shopped for food and cooked.

Challenges this week have been

• Travelling for work
• Not enough rest and sleep
• Back is sore after Saturday's dip and sitting in a draught in Hall for long meeting in the afternoon. I'm cross about my back as I know that is a danger and I allowed myself to sit in a draught.....
• EB has dismantled the house and is decorating. The kitchen bedroom and lounge have been fairly uninhabitable for 4 weeks!!!! Good news..nearly done and looks fantastic.
• Harry is away and I miss him
• Cats are stressed and naughty due to disruption in house and they are into everything!

Highlights this week ....see for yourself!

It's a bit chilly on the beach today. I'm not putting on my trunks!!

Oh alright then! Iain Dick John Dougan Alex Fergusson Me Russell Brown Willie Scobie

March 22nd 2009

I feel a bit like Bridget Jones this week even though I hated the book but quite liked the film. For example....Big Pants! Diet V bad mainly toast and chocolate. Make the conclusions you wish. What are the stress factors? Well I got really tired last week and had kept the training going with almost 4000 meters per session plus at least one blast on the rower. I always thought that the more you try and train and work the better things get. Not so at this age it seems. The benefits of exercise change. I decided to take advice from those with wisdom.

Conversations I have had are as follows

• My super fit Physio who by the way has sorted my back out, thinks that maybe I'm not doing enough and maybe that's why I feel sluggish, and a rest week means cutting down the pace not stopping and eating chocolate! Oh dear
• I told my cousin I thought I was not a natural athlete and it all seems quite hard and overwhelming. She thinks I am a natural athlete and that I always have been. Natural athlete in my mind probably means slim and toned and is someone who does not think a rest week means staying in bed and eating toast and chocolate. Oh dear

So today I realised that my rest week had extended somewhat and I had slipped so easily into V bad habits, so I rowed for 20 minutes and ran to Lady bay. Let's see how the legs are after that little number then!!

Swimming full programme this week and there is a photo opportunity on Saturday to re launch the Just giving button and the sponsor sheets.

More soon

March 8th 2009

I have had a productive week as the Stingrays up their game. They are increasing their weekly lane tally and the pace is harder. No time for chat, the coaches have found their voices as they count us down to the next set. On Monday I did 4,300 meters in just over an hour. Wednesday I managed to get to the new DG1 Leisure Centre in Dumfries as I was staying overnight, partly for work reasons but I did go and see Fairport Convention on Tuesday night and confirmed my aging hippy status and thoroughly enjoyed the gig. The new pool in Dumfries is really good. The young squad were just getting out when I got there for public lane swimming at 7am and they told me they start at 5.30am. I joined the lane swimmers and it seemed well managed with attentive lifeguards who ensured we were in the right lanes. I only got 45 minutes but managed 2,250 meters and concentrated on long stretchy technique as Harry had suggested. Thursday morning, I was back with the Stingrays and completed 3,800 meters. I had a problem with my back midway and had to get out and lie on the floor to 'unkink' it. As I lay there the kids had finished their set and were regarding me through their bug goggles looking like strange insects from the deep. One of them said 'shall we call an ambulance?' Cheeky and wonderful children. It made me smile all day.

Holiday and Penzance Masters

March 1st 2009
We decided to go on holiday early this year in view of the fact that I need to be able to concentrate on the swim now, and the summer will be taken up with events to support the fundraising effort and also I will be entering some open water events.
So we went to Cornwall for 11 days or so and drove down via friends and family and back via other friends and family. Our holiday was initially hampered by snow and we were amazed by the amount of snow in Devon. We stayed in a cottage in Porthleven with our good friends Claire and Jacqui and their adorable 16 month old Border Terrier Dudley. We were beyong excitement when we thought that we would battle through the snow and then get to play with it!!! However we were sorry to find that not a flake had survived in Cornwall.
The sea was wild though and provided a spectacular show. Once the wild weather had subsided it was almost like Spring and we spent our time walking round gardens and sitting outside pubs drinking fine ale and eating pasties....marvelous.
I went to Penzance Leisure Centre and was delighted to find a lovely pool with some friendly swimmers. Peter Marks who I met in the fast lane during a public swimming session told me I should turn up at 6.30am on Wednesday and talk to Jim Saulter the coach. I was made to feel very welcome at the club and was delighted to find that they were ADULTS!!! This was the Masters squad and they were hot dang. I swam with them 3 times and they were very very fast. Jim was a little baffled by me as I told him I didn't do tumble turns and he watched as I struggled to keep up and in the end I pulled a muscle when I was diving in off the blocks. 'What happened to the sprint?' he shouted....I don't do sprints. I think my performance was fairly pathetic as I struggled with my back which had started an acute phase. Could have been the beer and the pasties of course, and I also had stopped taking by glucosamine tablets. Could have been a coincidence, could have been a combination of factors, but all resulted in a period of 'can't do it!'
Actually I thoroughly enjoyed my time with the sublime Penzance Masters. They were hard working welcoming and enthusiastic. I have been in touch with Jenny from the club and I look forward to swimming with them again one day. Thanks to Jim for all his support and encouragement.
Since I got back from holiday I have given up alcohol, I've been eating carefully, stretching, taking my tablets, rowing and swimming. Although my back is still tender and is firing warning shots across the bow, it has responded somewhat to my routine. I don't feel really really old anymore and I think that I have to accept that pain is part of a long distance swimmers lot. Any ideas on that one?
I have stopped dreaming about huge waves engulfing me and getting lost in the ocean, and I know that these are signs that anxiety is around and the seriousness of my challenge is a teasing spectre in my every day life.